SKI talks again

Mbuso: Hello Mr. President

SKI: Hi Mbuso, how are you my man?

Mbuso: I am good sir, very glad you agreed to see me even though you refused to see everybody else

SKI: My door is always open for you Mbuso, as for the other haters they can go to hell

Mbuso: Haters?

SKI: Yes, haters, I do not know what I have done to them to deserve so much hate.

Mbuso: Even church leaders, unions leaders, BDP MPs and former president Masire hate you?

SKI: Yes, they hate me, I don’t know why but I know they hate me. Masire is always very happy to interfere with my running of the country, he had his tenure, he should stay in retirement and enjoy Debeers money!

Mbuso: wow…

SKI: Its surprising that he never interfered during Mogae’s tenure but he is quick to open his trap all the time.

Mbuso: Again, wow. The church leaders?

SKI: All those guys are opposition politicians, that’s why I refused to see them. I refused to see opposition politicians because they fueled the strike. How do they ask people to strike then come rushing to me proposing solutions to stop the strike.

Mbuso: Did the opposition ask people to strike?

SKI: Yes, my intelligence sources tell me that.

Mbuso: You and your intelligence sources, are they not the same people who told you to fire Mokgware and to kill John Kalafatis?

SKI: Well, to err is woman

Mbuso: hehehe, woman, gatwe human, seso.

SKI: What is seso jaanong? Kana ha e itse Setswana sentle

Mbuso: Oh, that, sorry, it’s a word describing someone with your qualities

SKI: Wow, thanks, I like my qualities, Batswana when I address them in kgotlas like them too.

Mbuso: You seem to trust your advisors so much, do you ever go out there and seek independent opinions?

SKI: Yes, I address Kgotla meetings every week

Mbuso: I do not mean opinions from people with the same thinking capacity as you

SKI: Well, why should I listen to people who hate me? I listen to people who treat me the way I am supposed to be treated, I am royalty kana, plus my mother was a white person. I ain’t gonna let some self serving darkies who think they are smarter that I am.

Mbuso: Are you smart, to start with?

SKI: Yes, I am, why else do you think I was head hunted to come and lead the party and eventually the government. For your own information, I am the best president that ever set foot in this country.

Mbuso: May I know why you refused to see the delegation from parliament if Rre Modubule is removed from that delegation?

SKI: The man says he hates me. I do not want to see him for security reasons

Mbuso: What security reasons?

SKI: He hates me, he might want to kill me!

Mbuso: Is that what your security agents told you? Let me quote for you what he said, “It is no secret that I hate him and the DIS can take this message to him. I hate Khama’s authoritative rule, the way he believes he is above everyone and that he never wants to take advice,”

SKI: Yes, he says he hates me, you see!

Mbuso: But he says he hates the your authoritative rule and the way you believe you are above everyone

SKI: I got him, but that might motivate him to kill me! For security reasons I will not see him.

Mbuso: Do you believe you are above everyone and do you ever take advice?

SKI: Of course I am above everyone, I am the President damnit! Plus I am paramount chief of the Bangwato and my mother was a white person!

Mbuso: Of course. I sense the racist mentality Johnson Motshwarakgole talked about

SKI: I am not a racist, I hold black people with the contempt they deserve. Look here, if this country was ruled by white people it would be far in terms of development. You just need to compare it toNamibia, SA andZimbabwe.

Mbuso: What a revelation, I hear that your mother was racist

SKI: She wasn’t, she just did not tolerate shit

Mbuso: I am beginning to believe that, you were raised to hate black people, that’s why you did not even try to speak Setswana until you were plucked from the army to become Vice president, and all your siblings are or were married to white people.

SKI: Well, you are entitled to your opinions, how ever, I do not hate all black people, there are some that behave better, like my friends Isaac and Thapelo

Mbuso: Who is Thapelo?

SKI: My life partner Thapelo Olopeng

Mbuso: That Olepeng guy, he is always with you when ever you go, does he head your personal security?

SKI: He is much more than that, he is my right hand man.

Mbuso: I understand you made him very rich, and some other guys as well, I understand everybody who hangs out with you wins government tenders and is set for life

SKI: People are just being petty

Mbuso: Lets go back to the strike, why did government refuse to compromise?

SKI: There is no money

Mbuso: If is no money how come government suddenly proposed an unconditional 3%? We never heard where the P500 million is going to come from

SKI: Well, we will make cuts here and there.

Mbuso: Why did government refuse to apply the increment in a pyramid form?

SKI: That would mess up the government’s pay structure

Mbuso: But you claim to be a champion for poor people, why the would you want people earning P1000 to be paid P30 more while those earning P40000 be paid P1200 more. Where is the compassion in that?

SKI: Someone earning P1000 is not starving, they are not poor, there are people out there who have nothing.

Mbuso: wow, that’s a nice way to put it

SKI: These people are spoilt. They have salaries, then they go around wanting more money, other people have 0, nothing, nada, and they are quiet, they understand there is no money.

Mbuso: Is it not your duty as the government to create employment? Or at least to create an environment conducive for the private sector to create jobs?

SKI: I agree with you there, the policies are there, it’s the public servants who sleep on the job when it comes to implementation of those policies, that’s why there is so much unemployment. Then they want a raise.

Mbuso: You seem to blame everybody but yourself for the country’s problems…

SKI: People are not as patriotic as I am. I have every right to blame them.

Mbuso: You are Mr. Right, Mr. Clean

SKI: Of course!

Mbuso: Lets talk about another Mr. Clean, Matambo. What happened?

SKI: Well, people are trying to bring me down, they trump up charges against my ministers, they want me to intervene so they can call me a dictator.

Mbuso: People are asking why the double standards, you fired Guma Moyo when DCEC told you they were investigating him for corruption but you did not fire Ndelu until he resigned on the eve of his trial. Matambo is still a minister even though he is now before court. So is Vincent Seretse.

SKI: Those are trumped up charges. I learnt from the Guma incident, I will not let a good man go just because he is being charged with corruption. I will wait for the court to decide first.

Mbuso: But that puts the ministry the charged minister is leading into disrepute, How do you expect a finance minister charged with corruption to be viewed by donors if they are to give him money?

SKI: Well, I have no choice, like I said to you before, our parliament is full of useless people.

Mbuso: Back to the strike, is it true that you were alone in steadfastly refusing to accept conditions agreed upon by the unions, DPSM, parliament, BOCCIM and the Church elders?

SKI: Yes

Mbuso: Just yes?

SKI: Yes, what else should I say?

Mbuso: Reasons?

SKI: I didn’t want to appear to be a weak leader. People should know that I was voted to lead alone, I don’t need anybody’s opinion. I have my own advisors.

Mbuso: Who are your advisors?

SKI: They prefer to remain anonymous

Mbuso: Where they voted by the people to lead?

SKI: Is that important?

Mbuso: Yes, you refused to see BDP MPs, they voted you into your position!

SKI: Well, they publicly took a position contrary to mine, and since I knew I will not change my mind no matter what I did not want to waste my time or theirs.

Mbuso: Aren’t you afraid they might push a motion of no confidence on you?

SKI: Hehehehehehe, hahahahaha, motion of no confidence my foot! Those clowns, they can never do that, they need the money, vultures.

Mbuso: wow, so you think whatever you do they can never take you out?

SKI: No way son no way. They can never risk going through another election

Mbuso: Are you still democratic as you proclaimed on April 1 2008 or was it an April fool’s joke?

SKI: I am a democrat!

Mbuso: Why do you think people say you are a dictator?

SKI: Black man jealousy

Mbuso: People say you behave like a spoilt brat, that’s why you always want everything to go your way. They say you behave like a 5 year old who would cry and throw himself to the ground kicking and screaming when he does not get what he wants

SKI: Well they are entitled to their opinions

Mbuso: Have you ever failed to get anything you want in your life?

SKI: Well, I have always been privileged, my father was rich, and I literally grew up as a boss in the army.

Mbuso: Is it true that when you were 17 you were bought a motorcycle with a government purchase order?

SKI: Well, that I can’t say, I told my father I wanted a motorcycle and it was provided.

Mbuso: Back to the strike, we seem to be drifting a lot from the topic!

SKI: Well, I only answer the questions!

Mbuso: What your take on the accusations that your office does not show any austerity measures while you argue that there is no money

SKI: What are they talking about?

Mbuso: A lot of money is spent on the BDF and DIS even though we are not at war, You also bought a Private jet worth P300 million, plus a P3 million pula Caravan that you do not use. You also spent a considerable amount of money renovating the state house

SKI: Well, all those things were budgeted for.

Mbuso: But if there is no money why didn’t you postpone some of these projects?

SKI: There were budgeted for! The public service salaries were not, and will probably not be budgeted for in the near future!

Mbuso: So what’s the use of the bargaining council?

SKI: I was not properly consulted on this public service act, it’s a piece of trash, it gives too much power to the servants. Its unacceptable! Even these unionists do not give that much power to their farm workers. 

Mbuso: So you signed a bill into law while you did not fully understand its implications?

SKI: What kind of law allows employees to strike indefinitely? We have since moved to declare teachers essential service so they can’t strike anymore

Mbuso: Will you improve their conditions of service such that they might not need to strike?

SKI: That’s neither here nor there, the bottom line is if they strike we fire!

Mbuso: Did you order the doctors and nurses to be fired?

SKI: They defied the law!

Mbuso: You have no mercy!

SKI: How do I have mercy for people who did not only insult me but who also declared that I should step down!

Mbuso: Well you are one hell of a tough man, do you have a white vest?

SKI: Yes, why?

Mbuso: I know all tough men wear white vests, did you see Laurent Gbagbo?

SKI: Hehehe, yes I saw him when they fished him from the bunker, what an embarrassment. I will never refuse to vacate the seat when I am voted out, which is unlikely.

Mbuso: How can you be so confident?

SKI: You should see how people cry when they see me!

Mbuso: Well I cannot take that away from you

SKI: You see, all these clowns who talk opposition unity make me laugh, they cannot be serious, plus that won’t work. These balckies, they like power too much.

Mbuso: I like your confidence

SKI: Thanks son

Mbuso: On a lighter note I was laughing my lungs out when I heard some guy saying that he always uses your face to wipe himself when he relieves himself.

SKI: Hehehehe, that’s funny

Mbuso: He says he sometimes makes a hole on the on your mouth and makes sure feeds you his excretions, shouting, “Take it MTF! Take it”

SKI: That’s so gross, do people hate me that much?

Mbuso: You really polarized the nation, some people really love you while some really hate you

SKI: Well, what can I say, I’m sure people are jealous of my colour.

Mbuso: Get away

SKI: Serious, why else would they hate me?

Mbuso: Everybody thinks you are a moron

SKI: Not everybody Mbuso, just a few misguided zealots who think the world revolves around their whims.

Mbuso: I think that statement describes you!

SKI: Behave boy.

Mbuso: Is it true that the award you received inAmerica was for conserving your hair?

SKI: That’s bull, I own an island in the delta where I promote tourism, I also own a game farm in Mosu. I have shares in Wilderness safaris, one of the largest safari companies in southernAfrica.

Mbuso: These are all for your personal gain, who paid for that trip

SKI: The state, I was also promoting the country as a tourist destination!

Mbuso: And then you had to embarrass your self blaming the BCP for the strike!

SKI: Did I embarrass my self?

Mbuso: Do you honestly believe politicians should not be involved in fighting for better wages for their constituents?

SKI: They should leave that to unions

Mbuso: But the unions invited them

SKI: They should have declined

Mbuso: You are paranoid you know that?

SKI: Why do you say that?

Mbuso: You always blame other people whenever things go wrong, you are never in the wrong

SKI: How can I be wrong, I am white, well, almost

Mbuso: hehehe, whitey with an Afro, why don’t you just wear a blond wig.

SKI: hehehe, man I have to go, thanks for stopping by.

Mbuso: Thanks for seeing me, and I won’t wipe using your face, I am not one of them!

Ski: I know you won’t.   

Mbuso: Oh before you go, what’s your plan for the holidays, I saw some BDF trucks loaded with motorcycles, quads and other supplies on Orapa road, you might be planning some big party up there.

SKI: Well, its gonna be one hell of a month.

Mbuso: Why do you use BDF trucks and personnel to transport your personal stuff to your private farm?

SKI:  Its one of the perks that come with the office

Mbuso: But there is no money!

SKI: Its budgeted for!

Mbuso: I rest my case

SKI: Well, thanks, I gotta run, I have an appointment with my boy Lee.